Friday, October 22, 2010

The Week of The Heavy Hits

The first signs of a cold I mentioned in my previous post turned into a fully blown assault on my general well-being; I spent a day in bed, feverish, aching, too sick to do much besides watch television. My voice went from raspy to non-existent—a challenge in the classroom.

More difficult was getting some feedback on my work that seemed designed to stop me dead in my tracks. Which it has done, though I'm rallying now.

I never thought that being a writer would be easy. When I quit my perfectly good job as a legal secretary to devote myself to writing, I expected that there would be plenty of moments of panic and doubt and...well, I was right. But I was also right in believing that if I didn't do this thing I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I've been blessed in many ways. The trick, it seems to me, is to remember those blessings, and acknowledge how lucky I've been. So, a gratitude list. Here goes:
  • My husband's belief in me buoys me when my own doubts seem to be winning, as does the support of my friends. 
  • My daughter continues to tolerate me. And we laugh together. A lot. 
  • The Inner Bitch has been very, very good to me.
  • The Universe keeps sending messages that I was right to make this choice.
  • Today the sun is shining and the changing leaves provide moments of breath-taking beauty. 
  • Against all odds, I still have a roof over my head and a room of my own in which to write.
What are you grateful for today? 

7 comments:

jane said...

I am thankful for beautiful sunrises. And my children who continually amaze me with their outlook on this world. And for my husband who has shown me more love than any one person should have. And for new opportunities to use the gifts that the Universe has given me.

Anonymous said...

I am thankful for being having been married to a wonderful man (twice, the first was a lesson in how a marriage should not have been and the second a gift of forgiveness and what soulmates should be)...I am thankful for friends -- ...who were and are there for me now that my wonderful husband has passed and I am thankful for my church friends at St. Paul's in Norwalk and Christ Church Tashua in Trumbull, who stood by me in my happiest days and now in my saddest and I am thankful for YOU Elizabeth...who has given yourself not only as one of my friends from my past and now my present, but for your wonderful gift of words and humor. God bless you....

ajoconnell said...

I am grateful that I am finally starting to live the life I wanted. I'm grateful for my husband, for my family, and for my two cats. And I'm grateful to be part of a community of writers.

erin said...

i too am uber grateful for being a part of the FU MFA community. I'm even more grateful that I was welcomed, not only with open arms, but it was more like i was kind of grabbed into a bear hug without having to ask for one. I'm grateful for my new job because even though it majorly takes time away from my writing- it pays well, so that I can afford my lifestyle and afford to be a student. Plus, it makes me feel good. I work with great people and I feel "professional" and valued again. I'm grateful that all my friends have found wonderful husbands/wives or children who make them super happy. I'm thankful for my new baby niece because I love to cuddle and snuggle with her and that makes me happy. I'm thankful for Grey's Anatomy, because even though I'm not a huge fan of TV, Grey's does make me happy. I'm grateful for having Lary as a mentor this semester, because he has been fantastic. I'm thankful for getting to know wonderful people like you Elizabeth!!!!

vyr4s said...

I've been pretty low recently and in trying to figure out what's keeping my down, I've ignored looking at what helps keep me up. Even though I'm still searching, right now I can easily say that I am grateful for my mother, even if every other conversation we have becomes an argument, because even when she doesn't have an answer or responds to my insanity with her own special brand of it, I know she's trying to help.

Elizabeth Hilts said...

Thanks, all, for sharing.

Donna said...

Gratitude ... I try to acknowledge my gratitude every day - for my three children,for my supportive and loving husband, for my extended family, for the autumn season, for time in NH, writing, a fine glass of wine, snuggling with Mocha keeping my feet warm.... there is more, but this is what I know right now.