Overwhelmed

My office is a mess. This is, partly, because I walk in here, sit down at the computer and begin to work on whichever project is on deck. This is, partly, because there are so many projects rotating to the top of the pile:

• Memoir revision (and coming up with a workable—according to my agent—subtitle)
• The novel I've decided to revise as a sort of break from the unrelenting me-ness of the memoir and as a way to explore specific issues of craft
  
• A ghostwriting project that I'm enjoying working on
  
• Syllabi and lesson plans and reading so I can come up with lesson plans that make some sort of sense to me and, more important, my students
• Freelance projects
  

Yes, it's too much. But what do I not do? Clearly the novel is the thing that could be set aside. I don't want to, though, for so many reasons—it's fun and it is, I think, teaching me much about writing that can be applied in other areas. Plus, the novel and the memoir make me feel like a writer.

I guess the thing to do is to clean the office. The whole thing makes me cranky.

The Week of The Heavy Hits

The first signs of a cold I mentioned in my previous post turned into a fully blown assault on my general well-being; I spent a day in bed, feverish, aching, too sick to do much besides watch television. My voice went from raspy to non-existent—a challenge in the classroom.

More difficult was getting some feedback on my work that seemed designed to stop me dead in my tracks. Which it has done, though I'm rallying now.

I never thought that being a writer would be easy. When I quit my perfectly good job as a legal secretary to devote myself to writing, I expected that there would be plenty of moments of panic and doubt and...well, I was right. But I was also right in believing that if I didn't do this thing I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I've been blessed in many ways. The trick, it seems to me, is to remember those blessings, and acknowledge how lucky I've been. So, a gratitude list. Here goes:

• My husband's belief in me buoys me when my own doubts seem to be winning, as does the support of my friends. 
• My daughter continues to tolerate me. And we laugh together. A lot. 
• The Inner Bitch has been very, very good to me.
• The Universe keeps sending messages that I was right to make this choice.
• Today the sun is shining and the changing leaves provide moments of breath-taking beauty. 
• Against all odds, I still have a roof over my head and a room of my own in which to write.

What are you grateful for today?